Planning a Funeral

The death of someone close to us can be one of the most painful experiences we will ever suffer. The funeral service acknowledges this sense of grief and sorrow; but it also offers hope and encouragement as well, for it speaks of the Jesus who rose from the dead and who offers life to everyone, and it speaks of the reality of heaven. It reminds us too that God is with us – offering strength and comfort. 

• A funeral in church or at the crematorium?

• An outline to plan a funeral service

• What is life really about?

• What about after the funeral?

Why have a funeral in church? 

Firstly, you have the right to a Christian funeral service in your parish church (by arrangement with the local Vicar) whether or not you, or the person who has died, have been a regular worshipper in that church. 

Secondly, there are a few practical reasons.

• At a crematorium there are ‘time-slots’ for services. Time is often limited (usually to a maximum of just 25 minutes) and this may not be long enough to remember and celebrate your loved ones life. ‘Time-slots’ concern some people as sometimes they give a sense of your loved one’s funeral being a part of a conveyor belt of services. In church there is no time limit and other services never coincide.
  

• Crematoria chapels are often limited in size and if you are expecting many mourners some may even have to stand outside of the chapel – St John’s can seat over 200 people and even with just a few people it feels more intimate.
  

• Having the funeral service in the local church enables local people, and especially older people, to attend. Often, even if the crematorium is just a few miles away, people who would come are unable to.
  

Finally, experience has shown that having a funeral in church provides an important place for people to return to after the funeral itself. Churches celebrate life, love and belonging. Births, weddings and the day-to-day events of life, as well as funerals, are held in the holy space of a church. Crematoria though, in some cases serene and even beautiful, are places where only funerals are celebrated. To be in a living church, to 
think, to remember, to pray is a very different experience than revisiting a crematorium.

If you choose a church funeral the funeral director will still make all the arrangements for you and they will also liaise with the Vicar and arrange the cremation or burial. 

What is life really about?

The presence and promise of God is the message that the Christian Church has to offer you at this time. At such a time deep questions press in upon us all:

• Can we really believe in God and find in Him meaning and love at the centre of our lives? Or do we live in a cold uncaring world?
  
• What is life about? And what happens when we die?
  

If you would like to ask any questions about the Christian faith please drop into the church or email me and we can arrange to meet to talk these through.

An outline to plan a funeral service

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS.

These details were written for people in a Hospice who wished to plan their own funeral service before they died. This was never a morbid process as it often involved their families and the sharing of many memories and helped prepare them for their dying. 

You can use this outline to help you think about a loved ones funeral service before meeting with the minister who will be taking the service; or you could use it to plan your funeral, so that your loved ones know your wishes. The final arrangements and content of the service can only be made with the minister taking the service.
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 Service Outline

• ORGAN MUSIC ON ENTRANCE INTO CHURCH
• OPENING PRAYERS
• HYMN - optional
• A READING OTHER THAN FROM THE BIBLE - optional
• BIBLE READING
• REMEMBERING A LOVED ONE (could be done by a family member or the minister)
• THE ADDRESS
• HYMN – optional, could be a piece of recorded music, or omitted
• PRAYERS
• THE LORD’S PRAYER
• HYMN - optional
• PRAYER OF COMMENDATION
• PRAYER OF COMMITTAL 
  (If people are going to the crematorium this would be done there)
• LEAVING MUSIC (could be recorded music)

What about after the funeral?

As a church, all we can say is ‘here we are’ and try to express something of God’s love in our prayers and our actions. St John’s has a small team of people who are available to visit the bereaved after funerals. Each person has a background in counselling and/or care and is simply able to offer you time, someone to talk to, and someone to ask questions of. If you don’t wish them to visit, when they call you just say ‘thank you, but 
no thank you’. You can always contact the clergy as well.

 
Each year we have a memorial service on the Sunday nearest to All Souls (2nd November, the time each year when the church remembers all who have died) and you will be invited to that. Even if you are unable to be there, your loved one will be held in the prayers of the church. You may also wish to have your loved ones name in the memorial book, or to have them remembered in other ways in St John’s. You can talk to the Vicar about these if you wish.